About

I am a 41 year old divorced mom of three, who my oldest is a transgendered daughter named Jamie (she is 15), I also have a 14 year old son, and an 11 year old daughter.

Since this such a difficult situation to talk about outside of therapy, with friends and family, my therapist suggested I start a blog. So here I am actually doing my New Year’s resolution. I hope this blog helps other families who are in this similar “special” situation, but I would love to hear feedback and support from other people as well. I know I can use it! and will definitely appreciate it.

13 Comments Add your own

1. kelli anne Busey | January 2, 2010 at 3:30 pm

You are a awesome mother and I know Jamie is being cared for loved and nurtured in a way only you can.
Thank you for posting your experiences and thoughts here. We are looking forward to reading about your journey on a path less taken.
~kelli

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- 2. dstevens11 | January 2, 2010 at 5:03 pm
  
  Thanks for your kind words Kelli. Appreciate it! I don’t know about awesome, but I’m trying 🙂 Love, Dana
  
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3. calie | January 2, 2010 at 5:48 pm

Dana, I had one more comment for you, but it is private and I did not see an email address. It relates to whether or not your daughter desires to be stealth later in life. This is something you should consider. Once pictures and her story is on the internet, it is there for all to see.

You are one heck of a mom, Dana.

Calie xx

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- 4. dstevens11 | January 3, 2010 at 12:27 pm
  
  Hi Calie – My e-mail address is Danastevens11@yahoo.com. If Jamie is ever interested in personally sharing her life on-line, I will leave it up to her. My guess by her nature, that “stealth” will probably be her motive, but as I said it would be up to her. Thanks for the heads up, and concern.
  
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5. Jamie | January 8, 2010 at 6:47 pm

heyah 🙂 well this is kinda wired in a good way… lol im 14 and my names Jamie! hehe isnt that great xD well thank you soo much for blogging because your a amazing mam… my life is pritty much the same except i only told my mum recently well 1 year and a half ago… and it was a bit erm scarey to say the least at first and well its better now and i have a 19 year old brother who is leaving soon and my dad left when i was born…

i just think your storey’ is lovely and i want to tell my mam about this website… well ill show her it since she has no clue what to do on a computer hehe 🙂 but its a really really nice erm inspiration and trust me your jamie has got a really lovely mam… maybe my mam will learn something haha my mams great but still she doesnt understand me as much as i would like. maybe this will help! good luck xxx Jamie 🙂

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- 6. dstevens11 | January 10, 2010 at 7:59 am
  
  Hi jamie – Thanks for you comments, I hope everything works out for you. The best advice I can give you is to be completely honest with your feelings, and then ask for help. Good luck you you as well. Love, Dana
  
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7. Anne | January 26, 2010 at 1:49 pm

This is really an amazing story. It reminds me of when I was a kid 40 years ago. I’m also the eldest but of seven, rather than three. The difference between Jamie and I is that where Jamie is accepted I was terrorized and severely punished for wanting to be myself. Back then it gave the entire family a bad reputation if a boy wanted to be like Mommy instead of like Daddy. I suppose it was much worse for the father.

If Jimmie were to be put on the same path I was, in a nutshell he would wind up unhappy, miserable, with failed relationships behind him, an absolute failure as a man and a son, in his 50’s looking back on his life with pain and regret, and just waiting for God, hoping He’ll call his number next. If he if he let himself live that long.

You shouldn’t be second guessing yourself. You don’t have to worry. It is clear what Jamie’s choice is and that she is going to be happy, without regrets. You’re doing the right thing by letting Jamie choose. It’s Jamie’s nature to be a girl. With such a nature, being a boy and a man is really impossible.

As painful as it is to read your story, it is also a great joy. I am so happy for Jamie–I’m crying happy for Jamie. And for you, too. 🙂 I hope and pray for happiness and all the very, very best for you and Jamie.

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- 8. dstevens11 | January 26, 2010 at 9:37 pm
  
  Hi Anne, thanks for your prayers and thoughts for my family. Really appreciate it. It’s comments like yours that give me strength in my support of this process for Jamie. I know we are doing the right thing. As parents, that’s all we want his for our children to be happy and reach their potential. She’s a special kid. Thanks for support. Love, Dana
  
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9. Rubin | February 2, 2010 at 11:24 pm

you are a wonderful mother !!!
Jamie needs your help to become the woman she is on the inside.
There is a camp just for transgender
children and young teens I think
you should talk to Jamie about it
here is the link
http://www.camparanutiq.org/
if you ever need someone to talk to i’m just a email away

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- 10. dstevens11 | February 10, 2010 at 6:02 pm
  
  Hi Rubin – Thanks for the great link, I will definitely look into it. I never thought of such a thing, I am sure it is great for all of the kids. Thank you so much! Love, Dana
  
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  - 11. Rubin | February 11, 2010 at 5:20 am
    
    I am happy to help Dana
    I look through you site but i
    couldn’t find your email and i would love to talk to you one on one please email me sometime my email is
    
    girl8647@aol.com
    
    i would love to hear from you
    your last post left me in tears if your X isn’t going to
    except Jamie for who she is than it’s his loss.
12. Ally | June 10, 2010 at 9:35 am

this link is to another brave transgender little girl youtube page her named is Mina

http://www.youtube.com/user/nonoluvshk

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13. Bee | April 29, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Hi Dana,
I’ve only just found your site (don’t know how I’ve missed it up until now) and I just wanted to say how pleased I am for you and your daughter.
If there’s anything at all that I might offer or do to be of help or support (even if it’s just to lend an ear) I’d be thrilled if you’d let me know.

Drop me an email transparenting1@gmail.com

Very best wishes
Bee

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